OK, I'm back from vacation, 48 hours into reality and hopefully getting caught up on my daily life. NC was bittersweet. Dont get me wrong, it was fun and I have some great stories that I will share tonight or tomorrow, but the last time I was there, Dad was still alive and I was speaking to him every day about house stuff.
It was just sad not to have him around to call and tell him that the water pump sensor was set too low and we were left without water for a bit, or that the deer came, or that we saw the wild turkeys, or even random stuff, like Randy sold his Renegade. Just everyday news that I would have shared with him, I couldn't, and it made me think of him a lot during our days there, and dream of him every night..
Sometimes, I think that I miss him more as days go by. People tell me that it will get better and that I will miss him less, but I think that is a load of bull. I miss my Dad more and wish he was here more than ever. Is it too soon? Maybe my friends refer to a few years down the road, when time has passed and the spaces in my heart and my head are filled with new memories, so there is less time to think about him??
I'm not sure, but I know that it has been almost seven months and it is still as raw in my heart as the day he died. It really just sucks.